Anaconda

This really let me down

I was a teenager, I used to go to the movies on Christmas Day. We always ate early and did not have out-of-town relatives visiting. I remember seeing great comedies like 9 to 5 and Tootsie. As an adult, Christmas is at my house. My husband and I spend weeks prepping for our two-night celebration. We host family and friends, put out tons of food and have lots of laughs. Although A Christmas Story or It’s A Wonderful Life is usually playing in the background, no one has time to watch a full movie.

My movie time now is between Christmas and New Year’s, so I was pretty excited to see Anaconda. The cast is great! I recently re-watched The Holiday and The 40-Year-Old Virgin, and I’m a fan of Jack Black and Paul Rudd. The trailer looked funny, and even if it wasn’t hilarious, it still seemed guaranteed for a few good chuckles.

I will cut to the chase here and tell you that Anaconda was not funny. Actually, I’m not sure why the studio would have released this during the holidays and not dumped it in the late fall or after the Academy Award season when expectations are lower. This is a time when families expect to be entertained, and anyone who sees this is likely in for a letdown.

The story centers on two childhood best friends, Doug (Jack Black) and Griff (Paul Rudd). They dreamed of making movies together, but Doug backed out of moving to Hollywood and now makes wedding videos. Griff is a struggling actor who can’t manage his career or life. A milestone birthday for Doug prompts Griff to propose they make their childhood dream come true and remake their favorite film, Anaconda. They recruit their other childhood friends, Claire (Thandiwe Newton) and Kenny (Steve Zahn), pull together their limited funds and knowledge, and head to the Amazon jungle to shoot their flick.

Early on, the jokes do not connect. Despite being actors who I thought could make anything funny, the film drags and it is difficult to relate to the characters. Griff and Kenny are simply unlikeable, and Claire’s character is underdeveloped. I was empathetic toward Doug, but I found it difficult to accept that his “stable” job is making wedding videos, and the story takes place in current times? Seems like a side hustle at best if you don’t live in a major city. When the friends find themselves on the run from shady individuals and an enormous anaconda, it is neither humorous nor compelling.

The funniest bits are in the trailer and, honestly, the best part of this movie was that it was only an hour and forty minutes. While there are some fun cameos, it is still not worth sitting through the whole movie for them. Besides, the original Anaconda was only an hour and twenty-nine minutes! I recommend a re-watch of that over this comedy reboot.